I've just been

outwitted by a cockroach.

Kinell I was just coming back from a toilet break when I saw a cockroach trying to creep under the storeroom door, and I didn't get any newspapers as I wanted to watch the cockroach make an arse of itself trying to crawl underneath that miniscule gap between the door and the floor.

But I forgot that those fuking cockroaches have the ability to compress themselves or summat, and it went through the gap. So that's one living cockroach that's still in the house. Fuck.